EXCLUSIVE: Harry & Megan tell all to the Dailydrex

DailyD: Our readers are very excited about the interview. Thank you for coming in.

Prince Harry: We thought is was about time people knew the truth and there’s no better place to tell it than the DailyD.

Megan: I just want to get one thing staight before we start. I’m not black. Do you understand that? Read my lips. I’m not black.

Prince Harry: Yeah. That’s right. She’s not black. Its just that when she was young she spent a lot of time in Hawaii where she got this fabulous suntan.

DailyD Okay. Your’re not black. But what about the skin whitening cream you’re promoting?

Prince Harry: Forget about the skin whitening cream. That’s just business. Its got nothing to do with my wife being black. Its all about being paid a ton of money.

Megan: The problem is, a lot of people are just plain jealous.

DailyD: About the money you’re being paid by the skin whitening company?

Megan: No. Not about the money I’m being paid. Jesus you’re dumb. About my fabulous tan. Everyone would love to have a tan like mine.

DailyD: Yes, they would.

Megan: But I’m not black. Have you got that?

DailyD: Yes. Definitely.

Megan: I mean, would Harry marry a black woman? Of course not. It would be like Wallis Simpson and the Duke of Windsor, wouldn’t it. And then Harry would have to abdicate, wouldn’t he.

DailyD: Well, not really.

Megan: What! Don’t “not really” me. He would have to abdicate. We got a legal opinion from Lord whatshisname.

DailyD: But Harry is sixth in the line of succession to the British throne.

Megan: Well, he’d have to abdicate, wouldn’t he.

DailyD: Well, I guess so. If the other 5 in front of him died. But what about your relationship with the rest of the family?

Prince Harry: It’s a joke, isn’t it. Everyone says my dad’s not talking to me, but it’s a joke.

DailyD: A joke?

Prince Harry: Yeah. Its more like no one is talking to him. He’s hardly got a friend in the world. Have you seen him lately? Always red faced because he’s quaffing too much booze. And bored to death because he’s got nothing to do.

DailyD: So is he talking to you or not?

Prince Harry: Of course he’s talking to me. He’s got no one else to talk to. He rings me five times a day to talk. By lunch time I usually block his number on my mobile to get a bit of peace and quiet. Most people I know have a permanent block on his number.

Megan: He never rings me.

Prince Harry: That’s because you’re not his daughter, sweatheart. You get rung up by your dad and I get rung up by my dad.

Megan: My dad never rings me up.

Prince Harry: That’s because he’s an arse……

DailyD: Well thank you very much Prince Harry and Megan. I think we better wrap it up there before everyone gets into trouble.

Megan: Okay. But don’t forget. I’m not black.