The Dailydrex

Friday, July 19, 2024

BIASED.  JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

BITCOIN: THE FIGMENT OF A GENIUS’S IMAGINATION INVESTORS CRY FOUL AS BITCOIN PLUMMETS

Satoshi Nakamoto, the inventor of Bitcoin was sitting on thestage with a smirk on his face at the annual cryptocurrency convention in Las Vegas. He was showing no signs of concern about the price of Bitcoin which plummeted 48% from its recent highs.

Billy Crystal, the host of the convention was rambling on about something or other that made the audience laughter every now and then, but Satoshi Nakamoto seemed like he was not really paying much attention.

Suddenly Satoshi Nakamoto got out of his seat. Billy Crystal spoke his name which meant that it was time for him to step up to the microphone to present his speech as the guest of honour.

The audience booed loudly as Satoshi Nakamoto walked towards the podium. Billy Crystal joined in the booing. “I lost over a million dollars last week,” he said before handing over the microphone.

The booing increased. Satoshi Nakamoto waited for it to die down but it went on for an eternity.

“I want to thank each and every person here tonight,” Satoshi Nakamoto said. The booing intensified. Satoshi Nakamoto waited for it to die down again. “I want to thank each and every person here tonight,” he repeated, “for making me a multi billionaire.”

The booing became a roar. “On a cold morning in Tokyo in 2007,” Satoshi Nakamoto continued, “I woke up out of a restless sleep feeling very hungry since I had not eaten the night before because I did not have any money for food.”

The audience was silent now, but not sympathetic. “Who gives a shit?” someone called out.

Satoshi Nakamoto ignored him. “I work up and thought what can I do to improve the impoverished state of affairs that has left me so destitute that I am not even able to buy a big mac for my dinner.”

He paused for effect. “I could have got a job at McDonalds. Or KFC. But all my life I’ve been a dreamer. And my dream was not to be a contributor to the McDonalds fortune for $7.50 an hour.”

“I could rob a bank, I thought, but the chances were that I would get my hands on no more that $1,000 since large amounts of cash were not easy to gather in a bank robbery. And if I was caught, I would be thrown in jail for 20 years.”

“Twenty years for $1,000 is an unjust penalty, I thought.”Satoshi Nakamoto said. “There must be other ways of stealing money without getting caught or with lesser penalties if I did get caught.”

“And so I invented Bitcoin.” The audience were now silent.

“What is Bitcoin?” he asked. “Bitcoin is a bank. A bank I createdby a figment of my imagination. A bank in which I own all the money. There is no other bank like it. At best, you could never own more than a minuscule of a fraction of the money in the Bank of America.”

“But the obstacle was that the Bitcoin in my bank had no value. It was worthless. It was only a figment of my imagination. Digital numbers on a computer screen.”

Satoshi Nakamoto looked at his audience.

“It was worthless until you decided you wanted a share of it. Then it became valuable. Extremely valuable.”

Satoshi Nakamoto looked at his audience again.

“The figment of my imagination became valuable because you said so.”

Satoshi Nakamoto burst into laughter.

“Ha ha hah ha hahaha. I thank each and every one of you for making me into billionaire. Ha ha hah ha hahaha.”